Alright, It Hit Me

I blame the stresses of the week: multiple apartment and car problems have thrown my life outside of work into a bit of turmoil, and I have been getting more work to do and thus have been expending a lot of energy during the day. I just don't want to come home to a bunch of problems. :(

Today I did get everything patched up - alignment fixed (again), other headlight fixed, and the light was replaced in my apartment. So I'm glad those things were done but I am a little afraid of something else happening - please, no.

I think all of this built up and at the same time I am trying to e-mail family and make sure they know things got fixed, etc...

I was writing an e-mail to my mom tonight and just realized that I really needed to say something because none of my immediate family members have visited me since I moved here. Granted I did travel back to Austin for about the first month, but I am coming up on living in Dallas for 3 months. My mom helped me pick out the apartment, but noone has seen me moved in, where I work, or the area where I live.

I feel like I shouldn't have to ask, but rather than just let it bother me I asked her. I have already told all of them that I would like them to visit, of course, but it's so easy for them to say they're too busy.

So here's my history: though I lived in Austin where I grew up, I did not live at home while I was in college. I lived in the dorm for one year, in apartments with roommates for the next 3 years, and then in an apartment of my own while I was going to grad school for one more year. Because I was in Austin, my family obviously helped me move in and what not but after that they really didn't ever come to my place. It was just too easy for me to go to them, but wore on me after a while. It's not always easy with a full academic and social calendar to visit a mom on one side of town, dad and stepmom on the other side of town, relatives about 45 minutes out of town, and then also my brother and his girlfriend moved about 5 minutes away from me my last year...but I frequently went there instead of them coming over.

Now that I have actually up and moved away a considerable distance comparatively, I just don't think that they think it's as special anymore. I've lived in an apartment before, I've lived on my own before...but it's just me this time. It's still too easy, it seems - my mom told me that we're not that physically far away. That is true, I could be further away if I were in NY or San Francisco, but it's still 8 hours out of my weekend if I want to drive to Austin to see her.

Do they want me to move really really far away?? Didn't seem like it when I talked about getting a job - they all just assumed I would be looking in Austin too. But I told them that I was applying pretty much anywhere but Austin. (Again, not because I don't love Austin. It is my home. But I needed to grow.) I think a few family members were a little surprised, but why? It made me feel like they didn't really believe I could do it.

So here I am, trying to do this, and I need support from my family. Let's hope they start missing me so they'll visit. :/